The Overfunctioner’s Revolution: Tough Love Practices for Not Giving Yourself Away
It’s good to get mad.
In the late 18th century, American colonists got mad when the British government stomped all over their right to live where they choose and not be taxed to fund wars they had no stake in.
Around the same period, French citizens got mad at the aristocracy for a slew of reasons, chief among them, the burden of social and tax inequality in France due to the Estates System.
Revolutions have their genesis in anger and discontent, when people have had enough.
Liberating Myself from Me
Unlike the American colonists and French citizenry, no one is doing anything to me. My revolution is from within.
The Overfunctioner’s Revolution is a call to arms to the person who overfunctions, not the people we blame for feeling tread upon. Overfunctioners feel tread upon because we haven’t drawn healthy boundaries – with ourselves and others. “When you feel yourself becoming angry, resentful, or exhausted,” writes Crystal Andrus, “pay attention to where you haven’t set a healthy boundary.” We teach people how to treat us through our behavior.
Feeling tread upon? That’s because you allowed it.
That kind of accountability is necessary for The Revolution to be successful.
How will you know?
When the externals of your life change as a result of the changes within.
Tough love isn’t punishing. It’s clear-eyed. Tough means being accountable. Love is caring enough about yourself to change what you can now clearly see.
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Tough Love Practices for Not Giving Yourself Away
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